For a while there I was in quite a routine of posting regularly, but I’m finding myself slipping up lately. I think my lack of activity on here sort of signifies that I’m also neglecting my thoughts and emotions with everything else that is going on at the moment, and I’m starting to feel that taking it’s toll. While I realise that my writing on here is neither particularly insightful, or very good for that matter, the aimless typing does feel cathartic.
I haven’t been back in London for a full week yet, and already I feel quite worn down and like I haven’t stopped. Although I now own a bed, a rug and a plant I have gotten no further with my unpacking of boxes and I don’t see that changing any time soon while I lack the time. I started my new job on Monday and I’ve realised that so far I had underestimated how much I have taken on with this new venture – and I haven’t even taught yet. So far my time is comprising of trying to sort clerical things and managerial nonsense which is not really an area I’m familiar with. I’m not complaining by any means, I do feel already like I’ve made the right decision but I think once my time is more focused on teaching I’ll be less stressed – but for now I’m just very much trying to get the hang of things.
There’s little else to update with really, while my days seem to consist of going to work, coming home and feeling very tired. I haven’t been to the gym since I got back at the weekend and I’m feeling quite guilty and lazy about that, but I really haven’t had he time and I also haven’t been feeling very well. My physical health has been a bit strange over the past three weeks with what I think are migraines happening almost every evening or night that make me sick and then generally make the next day entirely shit so I’ve finally bucked up the courage and got an appointment with a Doctor for next week to see about it. I also have an initial assessment with a Psychiatrist this weekend to hopefully help with my PTSD and OCD, and generally whatever else makes me a little bit mental. I’m not looking forward to it, obviously, but there’s a certain feeling of optimistic apprehension about it that hopefully means I can get myself on the right track.